A friend of mine committed suicide and I attended his funeral on Saturday. It was terrible and made more tragic because one year ago, his son took his life as well. It made me look to the Bible for answers. For a long time the Church considered suicide an unforgivable sin. In scripture, 1 Samuel 31:4 has the account of Saul commanding his armor bearer to kill him, and when the armor bearer refuses, Saul falls upon his own sword. Saul had already turned from God at that point. We now understand that suicide is caused by mental illness, often depression. I am lifting my friend up to God and asking for him to take his rightful place in Heaven. He was a good man who frequently performed "good works" and had accepted the Lord as his savior. Later that same day, I did one of my favorite things, I served as a lector at Mass. The reading from the Original Testament was from 2 Kings and explained how God will not let us go hungry. I could not help thinking it was a message about my friend and the situation. We may never know why it happened but God will feed us by healing us and providing comfort to those most affected. It is a daily struggle to totally depend on God to provide for me. I must decrease my ego, my self, and let God increase. We are not built that way as humans but it gives us purpose. I will close with one of St. Paul's scriptural prayers: that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19)
I am just beginning to dive into the beautiful, ancient devotion to the Five Wounds of Jesus, and I wanted to share a bit of the journey with you. It can feel a little overwhelming at first to look at the Crucifix this closely, but I’ve found such a gentle guide in St. Bernard of Clairvaux . In his Jubilee Rhythm on the Passion, Bernard doesn't treat the wounds of Jesus as distant historical facts or sights to be avoided. Instead, he approaches them with the tenderness of a friend, speaking directly to the feet, hands, side, and face of our Lord. For someone like me who is just starting out, his rhythm teaches that prayer isn't just about reciting words; it’s a holy hide-and-seek. Bernard invites us to literally hide ourselves within these wounds, seeing them as clefts in the rock where we can find shelter when our own lives feel turbulent or heavy. As I start this process, I’ve been practicing what I call gazing and greeting. Following Bernard’s lead, I look at the Crucifix an...
Comments
Post a Comment