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A friend of mine committed suicide and I attended his funeral on Saturday. It was terrible and made more tragic because one year ago, his son took his life as well. It made me look to the Bible for answers. For a long time the Church considered suicide an unforgivable sin. In scripture, 1 Samuel 31:4 has the account of Saul commanding his armor bearer to kill him, and when the armor bearer refuses, Saul falls upon his own sword. Saul had already turned from God at that point. We now understand that suicide is caused by mental illness, often depression. I am lifting my friend up to God and asking for him to take his rightful place in Heaven. He was a good man who frequently performed "good works" and had accepted the Lord as his savior. Later that same day, I did one of my favorite things, I served as a lector at Mass. The reading from the Original Testament was from 2 Kings and explained how God will not let us go hungry. I could not help thinking it was a message about my friend and the situation. We may never know why it happened but God will feed us by healing us and providing comfort to those most affected. It is a daily struggle to totally depend on God to provide for me. I must decrease my ego, my self, and let God increase. We are not built that way as humans but it gives us purpose. I will close with one of St. Paul's scriptural prayers: that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19)

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